The Great Divider

So the Patriots have acquired Randy Moss in a trade that seems to be creating a division amongst football fans, New Englanders and not.

The Pats’ success over the last 6 years, combined with their smug coach and handsome QB, has created disdain for the Foxboro crew. Critics say they’ve become conceited and arrogant. This sentiment appears to have been applied to the Pats’ fanbase as well. Football fans openly root against them. People were happier after the Colts won the AFC Championship than when they won the Super Bowl this past season.

As a result, fans across the country are crossing their fingers, hoping that the addition of Randy Moss is like an injection of poison into this flourishing organism. A monkey wrench on their back, to quote the great Jason Penopolis. They want Randy Moss to be to the Patriots what Terrell Owens was to the 49ers, Cowboys, and especially the Eagles.

The TO comparisons are easy to make. Both wide receivers are outstanding athletes. Many feel or felt, at one point, they were 1-2 in the top WRs in the league. They run down the field at outstanding speeds, then leap above all defenders to snatch a normally uncatchable ball. They break away from their tackler, then run it into the endzone, where they perform a hilarious and/or controversial end zone dance. They’re the two most memorable wide receivers of the last 15 years not named Jerry Rice. Of course, the comparisons don’t end there. Both are associated with off-field problems and are frequently labeled “clubhouse cancers”, as though they’re a throbbing tumor that grows on the team’s side, and even though they cut it off, it’s still lingering somehow.

The truth is, they’re quite different from each other.

The ironic thing is, TO, for a span of about 4 months, managed to shake this reputation. After Super Bowl XXXIX, you heard it everywhere. “You know, TO may be a hot dog and a bad influence, but when push comes to shove, he’ll give you 100% every night. Randy Moss doesn’t do that”. And that statement is true. TO tries hard, Randy doesn’t. But it is for that exact reason that TO ruins teams, and Randy doesn’t.

Here’s a secret about rich people, particularly athletes. Rich athletes don’t think like you and me. Alonzo Mourning and Peyton Manning don’t have the same concerns that Frank at the gas station does. When Manny Ramirez doesn’t run out a short grounder, fans get pissed. “He’s being paid $20 million a year! If you paid me that much, I’d run out everything!”. But the truth is, for the most part, rich athletes don’t really give a shit about that. Rich athletes think like rich athletes. They don’t have Frank problems. They have Rich Athlete problems.

So when Allen Iverson doesn’t show up to practice, athletes don’t complain. They might resent it a little that they have to practice while AI doesn’t, but that’s a luxury afforded to one of the 20 greatest players ever. When Manny doesn’t run out a grounder, David Ortiz and Pedro Martinez don’t give a fuck.

(I had given him #84 in this picture previously, but I forgot Ben Watson had it already. And Stallworth has 18 already. So I went with his college number 88. I’m sure Kyle Brady won’t mind.)

But don’t think that they don’t respect hustle. When Troy Brown volunteers to play defense, fans and players agree: Troy Brown is awesome. When Larry Bird goes headfirst into the front row for a ball that’s been out of bounds for the last four minutes, fans go bananas, and players get pumped up. Everyone loves a hustle player, and everyone loves hard work.

So when TO shocked the world in 2005 and took the field that night in Jacksonville, the Eagles were inspired. They played their asses off and came within 3 points of upsetting the heavily favored Patriots. Donovan McNabb was so inspired he forgot to manage the clock in the last 7 minutes of the game. And since they hadn’t been to the Super Bowl before TO came to town, the guys in the locker room respected TO even more.

Which leads us to when TO started shooting his mouth off the next season and began questioning McNabb and complaining about his salary. What basically happened in Philly was that fans got behind McNabb, as did a group of the veteran leaders on the team, which created the illusion that the whole team was against TO. But the reason the Eagles fell apart was because a separate faction of rich athletes on the Eagles agreed with TO’s rich athlete problems. TO wants more money. TO’s not getting enough respect. TO wants the ball. And because TO had played in that Super Bowl and earned people’s respect, they couldn’t all just turn their back on him. So they picked sides. And that’s what killed the Eagles. It’s still lingering today, too. Notice how Jeff Garcia was embraced by the clubhouse with McNabb being a forgotten shadow on the sideline. There’s still animosity today.

And it went on in Dallas and San Francisco too, where rich athlete teammates kind of agreed with TO’s side of things, and problems started.

Randy Moss is an entirely different story. When Randy was angry, Randy stopped trying. And while a Randy playing at 40% might hurt the team on the field, people aren’t exactly going to jump on his bandwagon. The only guy who looked bad was Randy, because he was dogging it on the field and getting arrested off of it. When he was shipped off, teammates held the door open for him, because he was just being a dick. It happened in Minnesota, then it happened in Oakland.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Randy Moss screwed over Oakland big time. They gave up a decent linebacker and two picks (including an early first rounder) to get him, then paid him $10 million or so a year to fart around and get nothing done. It didn’t help that he had a different shite quarterback and a different shite coach each year. But they gave up a lot for him, and only got a 4th round pick in return. But the Raiders clubhouse isn’t irreparably damaged post-Randy.

And that’s where we come full circle, to the Patriots. Here’s the absolute worse case scenario. Randy comes in, starts some shit with Brady and Brown and Bruschi and Rodney, and dogs it on the field. What happens? The Pats cut his ass. He was acquired in a trade, so there’s no monstrous cap hit or anything, and he restructured his deal so he only gets $3 million a year. And that’s all that happens. Reche Caldwell doesn’t suddenly hate Tom Brady. Eugene Wilson doesn’t suddenly hate Bill Belichick.

And the best-case scenario? The Pats get a top-5 wide receiver for only a 4th round pick. They pay him $3 million a year
to catch uncatchable balls while his jersey flies off the shelf. And because it’s not Kerry Collins or Aaron Brooks throwing him the ball, you can bet he’s gonna put up the numbers.

So apologies to all the non-Pats fans. I obviously can’t and won’t guarantee anything in terms of championships. Anything can happen. Brady can get injured and the whole season will probably be fucked. And as we’ve seen in opposite roles before this last year, the team with the great QB and star WR doesn’t always win every game. Anything can happen.

But I’ve got a pretty decent feeling Randy Moss isn’t going to hurt this team very much no matter what he does.