Cocky Little Freaks!!!

I’ve written about my love affair with the Zelda series before, and talked about how I tend to forget about it for years at a time, but when a game comes out and I’m playing it, it absorbs my life for that month (although, and I suppose this is blasphemy, I didn’t really think Link to the Past was nearly as great as everyone says… perhaps I’ll touch on that in a later list). When Star Fox 64 came out, I had a feeling a similar effect would happen. I had enjoyed the characters and the overall look of the original Star Fox when I was a kid, and when Star Fox 64 was about to come out, I started to get pumped. The SNES’s Star Fox had quite a few weaknesses; while revolutionary, the graphics were a little hard to comprehend and a bit before their time, the game didn’t really have much of a story, and it was FUCKING difficult. But Star Fox 64 looked like it had beautiful, vibrant colors and smooth lines and defined models and everything. And there was plenty of voice acting and dialogue to be experienced, and not just of the “STAY IN FORMATION!!!” variety. And in gameplay demos, the player wasn’t crashing into buildings and getting raped by triangle ships like I was used to. So I got pretty damn excited, even more so after watching a cheesily-produced video Nintendo Power sent me (which I thought was so daring and rebellious to make fun of the competition at the time).

And, of course, Star Fox 64 produced. Big time. For a long time, it was one of my favorite games. I was really into it. I played through it constantly, trying (and failing) to get the medals, and eventually figuring out the alternate exits (or having my brother show me). The official Nintendo Player’s Guide was in my bathroom, which I read constantly. I was into that game, big time. But, after a while, my attentions moved on to other things, such as Zelda, Jedi Knight and girls (heh… just kidding). And for a long time, I forgot about Star Fox.

There’s something that some people already know about me and those who don’t must learn. I’m very convinceable. If someone I like provides a relatively compelling argument about something, I’ll usually take their side until/unless my translucent conscience figures otherwise. When Star Fox Adventures came out, I saw a Penny Arcade comic that implanted an image about the game in my head; that it was a non-stop item hunt. When my friend Billy came over and showed it to me, it didn’t seem all that fun, since it looked like nothing but Fox running along snowy plains, finding items. So I skipped over it. Star Fox Assault came out about 3 years later, and although there was initial rumors about (un)finished Star Fox 2 being included as a pre-order gift, I skipped over that, too. I played a demo for a few minutes, and it just didn’t seem like Star Fox. The characters had new, futuristic costumes, Fox suddenly had sharp teeth and fuzzy hair, and there’s this new bitch, a female fox who seemed to just be included so wierdos could draw furry of her (I understand the appeal of hentai, obviously, but I never got the whole furry thing… just so you all know), and the gameplay was just a little too frantic for what I remember SF64 being.

So, when Star Fox Command was first announced at E3, I wasn’t really all that excited. I had kinda fallen out of favor with Star Fox, not that I hated it, but I no longer got excited about it. But, after a summer of hard work, I had some money to blow, and SFC was the first major DS title of the big E3 bonanza, so I traded in Naruto Ultimate Ninja and a bunch of year-old games I’d never play again and picked it up (along with Madden ‘07 for the Cube… only $40 bucks, and I hadn’t bought a football game since the 04-05 season, so it was a little more than a roster update, I suppose… but now I’m rambling, in parentheses, no less). And man, I’m glad I did. I’ve been fucking glued to this game.

I think the best part about it is that it doesn’t take itself too seriously. I think Adventures and Assault tried to make Fox into a legit badass science fiction character with high octane adventures around the world; he started wearing space-age flight suits, he was much more intimidating and menacing, he had a hot (furry) chick by his side, and they blew up whatever they wanted, because they were Star Fucking Fox. But at it’s heart, Star Fox is still a game about a talking fox and a talking falcon and a frog with a baseball cap and a rabbit with a southern accent and a dog in charge of the world and a menacing ape with detached hands (or brain, for that matter). There shouldn’t be anything really all that serious about it. I mean, yeah, I marked out for the revenge with Pigma storyline in 64; you need some character development. But SFC succeeds in giving us likable characters, funny dialogue, a story that’s worth fighting for to see the end, multiple endings and game paths, plenty of cameos and most of all, a smooth, clean design that never forgets what it’s really about.

Add that to the great gameplay and controls; I was skeptical of using the stylus, but it works perfectly (much smoother than the SNES or N64), and absolutely stunning graphics for the DS; bright colors, well-rendered models, and crisp sprites. I like to say that in a strange, bizarro way, Tie Fighter could be considered the greatest game ever made. It’s got perfect control, excellent graphics, a great soundtrack, extensive and appropriate voice acting, it’s long, and most importantly, it’s fun. It’s just about perfect in every aspect of making a video game. It’s just kinda hard to call Tie Fighter The Greatest Game Ever (although PC Gamer did just that a bunch of years ago). While it’s not necessarily on the same level, Star Fox Command does pretty much everything right. Although there’s no voice acting (the gibberish from the SNES returns, and is much better than hearing Slippy being voiced by a girl and Fox sounding like a total dweeb), it’s got great music, almost all of which is original (although the Star Wolf theme makes a welcome return). The theme that plays during Krystal’s missions is pretty fuckin’ sweet too. And speaking of which, they manage to make Krystal a relatively funny character who fits perfectly with the rest of the game. But as I was saying, great graphics, great sound, great controls, great story, tons of fun, a lot of replay value; it might just physically be the best game on the DS available now.

Although I’m praying to Zombie Jesus that Yoshi’s Island 2 makes me change that statement.