Time for some pickaroos and pick-u’s. Home team in CAPAMANIA!!!
Denver (+11) over SAN DIEGO
San Diego has nothing to play for, although it is a shame that they won’t make the playoffs after beating the Pats and Colts at home. Whutevs.
NY Giants (-10) over OAKLAND
Fuck it… I’m tired. I’ll do Sunday’s games tommorow.
10-6 again, which is better than 5-9-2. That’s 51-38-4 on the half year. Good to see the Colts lose. I hate them. Too bad I lost big on the Ravens, prematurely dissed the Jets, gave Buffalo too much credit, figured the Seahawks would throttle the Bills, and questioned the fight of the Texans. Whuteva.
Home Team in CAPPPPSS
NEW ENGLAND (-5) over Tampa Bay
I’m not so sure about this. I’d feel more comfortable if it was 4.
NY GIANTS (-3) over Kansas City
Ugh. Not sure about this one either. I need to do more homework…
BUFFALO (+9) over Denver
Meh… why the hell not?
Arizona (-2) over HOUSTON
If Houston had any heart, I’d pick them for the upset, but they intentionally shanked that field goal last week, so I won’t give them the honor of being picked by me. Jerks.
Seattle (-8) over TENNESSEE
Bad move, but whateva.
San Diego (+8) over INDIANAPOLIS
Some fools never learn.
San Francisco (+16) over JACKSONVILLE
J’Ville wins, but not by that much. I think.
Carolina (-10) over NEW ORLEANS
The Saints are done, son. D-U-N done. I’m so edgy and hip, it blows my mind.
Philadelphia (+4) over ST LOUIS
I was this close to picking the Rams, but I remembered Philly showed a surprising bit of fight against the G-Men, and I keep thinking St Louis is good this year, except they really aren’t. I keep picking them, and I keep losing. Bitches.
MIAMI (-9) over NY Jets
J-E-T-S SUCK SUCK SUCK!
Pittsburgh (-4) over MINNESOTA
I keep picking against the Vikes, and I keep getting burned. Oh well.
Cleveland (+3) over OAKLAND
I DONN’T KNNNOOOOOWWW!!!
Cincinnati (-8) over DETROIT
SUPERBRAWL? SUPER SATURDAY? WHAT’S IT CALLED?
Dallas (+2) over WASHINGTON
ONEOFTHEGREATESTLEGENDSINTHISBUS–GAAAAH
CHICAGO (-3) over Atlanta
AND YOUR T-SHIRTS ARE TOO TIGHT, BILLY!!!
Green Bay (+4) over BALTIMORE
WHY’S THIS DOOR LOCKED?!
Ugh! 5-9-2! Ugly! I knew it’d be a bad week. I’m now at 41-33-4, which I’ll take. I think I’ll do better this week. So far, there’s only one line above 10. Cool.
This will be a difficult weekend. Every spread is like 15 and I have no idea who to pick. That being said, I guarantee I’ll go 10-6, 9-7 or 11-5, because I always do.
Home team in CAPS
St Louis (+7) over MINNESOTA
Something doesn’t seem right. The Rams really aren’t that bad, are they? Wow. I guess they are. Still, I have a feeling this Minny comeback isn’t legit. And I’m probably dead wrong about it.
Oakland (-3) over NY JETS
When you can’t score more than 3 points on the 2005 Patriots, you suck big-time dinker.
Chicago (+6) over PITTSBURGH
The Steelers are favored? By more than a field goal? In the words of the late, great Joe Thornton, Cool! I’ll take it!
CAROLINA (-6) over Tampa Bay
I don’t know anything about Tampa Bay. I just know Carolina is pretty good. That’s all I can go on.
JACKSONVILLE (+9) over Indy
You figure I’d learn my lesson from picking against Indy so many times. But I haven’t, and I probably won’t. Not with San Diego and Seattle still on the schedule.
New England (-4) over BUFFALO
Let me say this clearly: They hate their coach.
CINCY (-12) over Cleveland
Romeo, I love you. But I’ve been burned too many times by thinking good teams won’t win big.
TENNESSEE (-6) over Houston
Wouldn’t it just be hilarious if Reggie Bush gets in a motorcycle accident the night after the Texans draft him? Nah, I’m just kidding. I like the Texans.
SEATTLE (-16) over San Francisco
16 seems a tad too high, but we’ll see.
NY Giants (-10) over PHILADELPHIA
Normally, I wouldn’t fall for this, but I saw Philly on Monday night and man did they look like utter shite.
Washington (-4) over ARIZONA
I DON’T KNOOOOWWWW!!!
Miami (+14) over SAN DIEGO
I’m gonna regret that.
DALLAS (-3) over Kansas City
I don’t like this one, either. If KC was at home, I’d take ‘em. Really, I have no idea.
DENVER (-14) over Baltimore
I personally think the Ravens should tank it and go for Vince Young. But that’s just me.
GREEN BAY (-6) over Detroit
IT’S THE CLASH OF THE TITANS! TONIGHT, ON SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!
ATLANTA (-11) over New Orleans
Meh. Why not.
I don’t give a fuck about anyone who says that being shot in the stomach or knee are the most painful things in the world.
Charley horses are the most painful things in the goddamn world. It’s like some reached inside your leg and tied your calf muscle in a knot and pulled as much as they can.
Fuck that hurts.
I went 10-6 this week, which isn’t bad. I wish I wasn’t such a homer and actually picked Indy once in a while. I’ve been wrong each time I pick against them. I should’ve given Seattle more credit, too. Also, in tragic news, the Dick Jauron train collided with the Ryan Fitzpatrick train and both exploded. There were no survivors.
You know how when you pour a glass of soda, and when you’re finished pouring, you swing the bottom down to level it (instead of swinging the top up) and you knock over the glass? Is there a name for that? Because I’m good at it. Here’s a quick diagram.
Here’s the picks. Guaranteed to be 56% correct.
Home team in CAPS
MIAMI (-4) over Buffalo
Ugh. I have no idea. Miami has the defense and the coach but no good QB. Buffalo is a C- everywhere, which is better than the 49ers, Jets, Texans, and a few others, and I like Holcomb over Frerotte. Honestly, I have no fucking idea. Sorry.
Tampa Bay (-4) over NEW ORLEANS
I dunno. The NFC is foreign to me. If I got paid for this, I’d pay more attention. Sorry.
NY GIANTS (-3) over Dallas
I actually like these Cowboys, and I wish no ill will of Drew Bledsoe. He saved the Patriots from being sold and moved to St. Louis, and he performed admirably in the 2001 AFC title game. For that, I thank him. But I don’t trust him in a big game. Sorry.
Cincinnati (+4) over PITTSBURGH
I don’t know why I’m picking this. Good offenses crumble at Heinz, and the Steelers own Carson Palmer. In fact, the Bengals are soft and only beat up on bad teams. But I’ll pick ‘em anyway. Sorry.
CAROLINA (-3) over Atlanta
No sorrys here. I like Carolina. I still think they’ll win the Super Bowl. Because I hate the Colts.
Houston (+8) over BALTIMORE
Houston sucks, don’t get me wrong. They won’t win. But the Ravens can’t put up points on anyone. 8 is too many.
CHICAGO (-7) over Green Bay
I’m not sure about this. Chicago is good, and they’re at Soldier’s… but 7 seems like too much. We’ll see.
Jacksonville (-3) over CLEVELAND
I hope Jacksonville becomes really good, so they can beat Indy. Because I hate the Colts.
DETROIT (+3) over Minnesota
Hop on board the Dick Jauron train! The whistle go Whooo Whoooo!!
Tennessee (+16) over INDY
I really hope Indy doesn’t run up the score. I hope they don’t go perfect. I hope they collapse. Because I’m still bitter and a sore loser. But hey, they were sore losers too. They complained after the Pats rocked their shack and they got rule changes. And that is why I hate the Colts.
ST LOUIS (+3) over Washington
Hop on board the Ryan Fitzpatrick train! The whistle go Whooo Whoooo!!
Arizona (-3) over SAN FRANCISCO
To quote the great Lex Luger, “I DONNN’T KNNNOOOOOOWWWW!!!”
NEW ENGLAND (-10) over NY Jets
I won’t do the J-E-T-S SUCK SUCK SUCK bit, because I’ll probably be wrong about this. Then again, I’ll take Aaron Brooks and Gus Frerotte over Brooks Bollinger any day, and Ty Law doesn’t scare me, although I wouldn’t mind him on this team. IN OTHER WORDS… I didn’t trust the Pats to blow out the Saints or Fins, but the Jets really suck, so I think there’s a good chance they could.
Denver (-1) over KANSAS CITY
Denver gon’ fuk dem up. Sheeet.
SAN DIEGO (-11) over Oakland
San Diego gon’ fuk dem up. Sheeet.
PHILADELPHIA (+3) over Seattle
Why the hell not.
Lucy Liu is 37? Crazy, man.
That’s it.
Football picks tommorow. I went 9-5-2, which puts me at 26-18-2 on the short year.
Hooray beer.
Before I go too far, let me say a few things about Joe Thornton. Number one, I like the guy. Everyone said he wasn’t happy to be in Boston, but according to a Providence Journal reporter, every game in Boston, during the national anthem, he would stand between the retired number banners of Milt Schmidt’s #15 and Terry O’Reilly’s #24, because he wanted to have his #19 up there someday. He knew what hockey meant to this fanbase. Even if the city has somewhat abandoned the team (although not entirely… the Pats and Sox stole their thunder, and they did sell out the first few games… it’s just the losing that brings the vitriol and ignorance), he knew that, if he could bring a Cup to Boston, he’d be in the modern pantheon with Brady and Ortiz. Number two, as much as I like him, and as great as his stats are, I think it’s safe to say he’s underachieved in his career so far. Now, I do think he got an unfair rap after the Montreal series. If he sat out, he’d be called soft. If he played, he wouldn’t be effective. He played, he wasn’t effective, and the B’s blew a 3-1 series lead, a dissapointing ending to a team that had the most talent since at least 1999 (with Bourque, Allison, Carter, McLaren, and Sweeney, among others). That being said, he’s had eight years, and while no means a bust, he hasn’t lived up to his potential. For the last five seasons, people have said he’s ready to explode and score 50 goals, but they’ve never come. 2004 aside, he hasn’t produced much in the playoffs. And most recently, after complaining about clutching and grabbing throughout 2003-04 and getting the rule changes freeing up the front of the net, he never took advantage of them. He turtled behind the net every time he had the puck and tried to pass it. Yes, a lot of times, he created scoring opportunities for Murray and Samsonov, but he’s such a talented shooter with such great size and presence, he could be tearing up the scoresheets.
All that being said… I’m sad to see him go. But while everyone is comparing this to the Nomar trade, I think it’s a cross between that and letting Clemens go. Now, obviously, everyone considers letting Clemens sign with Toronto as the fifth biggest mistake in Sox history behind trading Ruth, leaving Pedro in, not trying out Willie Mays and trading Bagwell, but few remember the reason Clemens regained his dominance was out of desire to prove Duquette wrong. I do feel that this is a turning point in Thornton’s career. He will no longer underachieve. He will prove Mike O’Connell and all the doubters wrong, because he now thinks that somehow, the blame for the awful start to the 2005-06 season has fallen on him.
And he will be wrong. The purpose of this trade wasn’t to get rid of Joe Thornton. In 2003, he was behind only Mario Lemieux in jerseys sold. His face was on everything to sell the Bruins. They obviously had no intent of dangling him at the start of the season.
Now, I know it’s impossible to compare sports, but look at the Minnesota Timberwolves. They have the best player in the league (Kevin Garnett), an average one-dimensional player (Szcerbiak) and no-one else. They’ll be lucky to make the playoffs. Now look at the Detroit Pistons. They have a very good point guard, a very good shooting guard, a pretty good small forward, a great power forward, and a dominant defensive center. Their best player is Rasheed Wallace, and he might not be in the top seven PFs in the league, but they have the most balanced lineup, and a deep bench to go with it. Would you rather have the best player in the league and no one around him, or a balanced team of very good players?
Obviously, the situation is different. Thornton had Sergei Samsonov, Glen Murray and Patrice Bergeron to pass to, with Nick Boynton and Brian Leetch to watch his back and Andrew Raycroft in net. This is, at least on a first look, a very good team. The problem is, there’s not much behind that. Brad Boyes will be very good someday, as will Ian Moran and the three young defensemen (whose names escape me now). Apparently, Alexi Zhitnik is a good player, but I haven’t seen it yet. But there is no depth to this team, particularly on defense. Plus, most of their forwards are soft, finesse types who aren’t going to play defense in their own zone.
So what do I think about the trade? I’d like to think they could’ve got more, but look at the aforementioned Nomar trade. Cabrera and Mientkiewicz (Roberts was a separate deal) aren’t very sexy names with stats that aren’t much sexier. Mientkiewicz made great plays when he got on the field, but that was sparingly, and Cabrera slumped for a month before turning on the jets in September and October (then went back to being mediocre in 2005, as the Brawlers can attest). I certainly thought we could’ve got more for a top-3 shortstop (who forgot how to field his position, but we’ll look past that). Look at other hockey trades of big stars. When Gretzky went to LA, Edmonton also had to give up McSorley and Mike Krushelnyski (who averaged about 23 goals a season for a stretch of 8 seasons) and ended up Jimmy Carson (played one full season for Edmonton), Martin Gelinas (decent career) and three #1 picks. Those three picks? Jason Miller (6 total NHL games), Martin Rucinsky (average career, didn’t put it all together until ‘95 for Montreal) and Nick Stajduhar (2 total NHL games). In short… not a very good trade for the Oilers. They gave up the greatest player of all time (yes, they couldn’t afford him, but in hindsight…) for five players, two of which were total busts and the other three failed to contribute for them. Jaromir Jagr, back when he was the hottest commodity in hockey, fetched Kris Beech (one full NHL season, last four in minors), Ross Lupaschuk (3 NHL games, no longer playing in America) and Michael Sivek (3 goals in 38 games, also no longer in the US).
So if we can take comfort in precedence, then this trade isn’t too awful. Marco Sturm is said by some to be the fastest man in the league, and he did net 28 in 2002-03. He was a first rounder, so someone saw something in him. Stuart is one of the better defensemen in the league, even if the scoring isn’t there, with a career plus/minus of +27. He was also a 3rd overall pick, so once again, the potential is there for something great. Wayne Primeau is a good checking line center who can add a little defense. Maybe I’m reaching here, but it could be worse.
So the final verdict? It’s tough. Part of me feels it was just a desperate attempt by Mike O’Connell to save his job, which could very well be true. Sentimentally, I’m partially glad that they didn’t trade Sergei, since the freed-up money could go towards a long-term deal for him. As I said, Thornton’s gonna learn from this and become a great player. He left on good terms, so maybe he can come back as a free agent in three years or some point in the future. I wish him the best (since he’s still on my fantasy team), and I sure as hell hope this trade works out as well for the Bruins as it will for the Sharks.
