My CSFA

The following is my Comprehensive Sports Fan Analysis. It’s a little device I made up, and I think all of my little Hulkamaniacs who read this should post their own in their LiveJournals, assuming they are sports fans.

It’s simple. Okay, it’s complex, but simple if you understand it.
Question A: What is your favorite team?
B: Who is your favorite current player on team A?
C: Who is your favorite pre-1980 player from team A?
D: Who is your favorite post-1980 player from team A?
E: Who is your favorite player from team A who is still playing but no longer on team A?
F: Who is your favorite non-team A player right now?
G: What player right now do you hate the most?
H: What team do you hate the most?
I: Who do you think is the best player right now who will never win a championship in their playing career?

Repeat for every sport.

Here we go.

NHL
A: Bruins
B: Sergei Samsonov
C: Bobby Orr
D: Cam Neely
E: P.J. Stock
F: Jarome Iginla
G: Mike Ribiero
H: Montreal Canadiens
I: Jeremy Roenick

MLB
A: Red Sox
B: Pedro Martinez (subject to change)
C: Carl Yastrzemski
D: Dwight Evans
E: Brian Daubach
F: Ichiro
G: Alex Rodriguez
H: New York Yankees
I: Alex Rodriguez

NFL
A: Patriots
B: Tedy Bruschi
C: Ron Burton
D: Steve Grogan
E: Jermaine Wiggins
F: Ray Lewis
G: Leonard Little
H: Indianapolis Colts
I: Peyton Manning

NBA
A: Celtics
B: Walter McCarty
C: Bill Russell
D: Larry Bird
E: Antoine Walker
F: Steve Nash
G: Latrell Spreewell
H: Los Angeles Lakers
I: Allen Iverson

Well shit…

It angers me uncontrollably when I look at Adult Swim right now. Okay, maybe not extreme anger, but I’m not entirely satisfied. Sealab sucks un-fucking-believably right now. I was reading interviews with the creators, and they keep saying they want to try something new and keep us guessing. One of em mentioned Andy Kauffman, and how you don’t laugh at him, but he’s still funny. There’s a difference. Sealab fucking sucks bigtime right now. The look of the show has become a microcosm of what the rest of the show has become. When it first came on, it was recycled animation and the same two backgrounds. They might flip their arm to make one of them punch someone, but other than that, it was just funny, cheesy animation. After a while, they started to just animate their own characters and try to make em look like Hanna-Barbara drawings. Now the show is completely animated fresh from the original 2020. As this occured, the writers started to take themselves seriously. While some episodes, like the Alvis one and “Fusebox”, were written relatively brilliantly, they started to become tedious. Of course, Harry Goz dying certainly didn’t help, but the show just plain shit the bed when he was gone. I mean, I enjoyed the first Tornado Shanks episdoe only because it kinda reminded me of the football team, but the episode was otherwise damn unfunny. Each episode since has just been shittier and shittier… it makes me vewwy sad when I think about it.

They also pulled Lupin and Case Closed off the air. Now, Case Closed was no better than DBZ or Tenchi or any other cookie-cutter 2000-episode series. It just charmed me enough that I would watch it. I think I’m also a sucker for mysteries. Anyway, there’s no fuckin excuse for taking off Lupin. Lupin is THE original anime. Sure, there was Astro Boy and Speed Racer and whutevuh, but fuckin Lupin is the rocka-boom-shocka. Anything that inspired fucking Cowboy Bebop has got to be “the shit”, as they say.

They’ve replaced it–

Holy shit… Conan just had this girl by the name of Ayda Field on his show. Man… she was a fuckin bombshell…

Anyway…

They’ve replaced CC and Lupin with more reruns of Witch Hunter Robin and Wolf’s Rain.

I fuckin hate goths. I hate goths and their stupid animes directed to them.

They’ve also added Super Milk Chan, and Super Milk Chan sucks big time. To quote Gabe (or perhaps Tycho… I can’t remember), it was like a trash monster from Fraggle Rock took a dump in my TV. Super Milk Chan is garbage shit.

Nobuo

I was disappointed to read that Nobuo Uematsu has retired from Square. I’m not going to pretend that I’ve listened to all of his work (I’ve only played 4 or 5 games in which he contributed to), but I feel that he deserves respeks.

I just finished watching Castle of Cagliostro, one of the first Lupin movies. Even if you’ve never seen an episode of Lupin, it’s worth watching big-time. It’s directed by Hayao Miyazaki, if you needed any further reason. Fuckin awesome movie. I didn’t think anime produced before 1988 would be worth watching, but that was before I had seen Lupin. I give it a 9.9 repetend. It would be a ten if it had a better version of the theme song, though. That song fucking rules big-time. I need to procure the Manga DVD release, however, because fucking David Hayter does Lupin’s voice in the dub. Although I don’t see how the hell it could work, because I’m used to Lupin being a high pitched, rat-like voice, I won’t admit if I hate it because I have a crush on Snake.

Nobuo

I was disappointed to read that Nobuo Uematsu has retired from Square. I’m not going to pretend that I’ve listened to all of his work (I’ve only played 4 or 5 games in which he contributed to), but I feel that he deserves respeks.

I just finished watching Castle of Cagliostro, one of the first Lupin movies. Even if you’ve never seen an episode of Lupin, it’s worth watching big-time. It’s directed by Hayao Miyazaki, if you needed any further reason. Fuckin awesome movie. I didn’t think anime produced before 1988 would be worth watching, but that was before I had seen Lupin. I give it a 9.9 repetend. It would be a ten if it had a better version of the theme song, though. That song fucking rules big-time. I need to procure the Manga DVD release, however, because fucking David Hayter does Lupin’s voice in the dub. Although I don’t see how the hell it could work, because I’m used to Lupin being a high pitched, rat-like voice, I won’t admit if I hate it because I have a crush on Snake.

Big Hits

“You know when someone tells you how something is supposed to be, like a Thanksgiving meal? They tell you what they’re going to make, and you imagine it and your mouth starts to water. And then when you have the meal, it really is just like that. Well, when you go onto the field, you just want to get that big hit, and you can imagine it: the back coming through the hole, the hole opening up, and you’re there and he’s there and then it happens. All of a sudden Bam! And it’s just like you imagined — and it gives you goose bumps. It’s inexplicable what it feels like in your soul. It comes all the way from your toes to the top of your head. Getting ready to make a hit, you’re almost like a cocked gun. When you pull the trigger, it comes from your toes and it goes to your knees and it goes to your hips and it comes out through your shoulders. I call it the ‘punch.’ When you have that punch, that’s special. You just know, Maaaaan! That was it! And it’s such a great feeling. Your reality matches your fantasy. In life that doesn’t happen often. For me anytime I got a big hit, I’d scream. If the guy is lying there and he can’t get up, I start screaming because I know I brought it and I know he felt it and I know we’ve got to run that play again.”
-Mike Singletary, Hall of Fame Bears Linebacker

Tough Luck, dipshit

I was delighted to lose sight of the remote for a minute after the Daily Show had ended last night. I was fortunate enough to see the final episode of Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. Yes apparently, Comedy Central finally canceled this waste of airtime that would’ve been better served to show another rerun of Who’s Line is it Anyway. I liked Colin Quinn when he was on SNL. He wasn’t as funny as Norm Macdonald, and he had no charisma whatsoever, but he nonetheless told funny jokes. No one asked him for his opinion, so he didn’t give it. Then came this gem from Comedy Central after he didn’t sign with SNL. Through unfunny comediens like Nick DePaulo and boring skits in segment 3 that would’ve been better suited for Mad TV (another waste of CC airtime… can we just get them to pick up Home Movies or even MST3K reruns?), the show just plain sucked. Maybe I only hate the show because it is right slanted (Who am I kidding, it’s the main reason), but I’m glad to see it go. It just took two years two long. I think what angered me was on the finale, Quinn went for a symbolic ending, delivering one final monologue, pretending to be vengeful, while the audience and crew filed off the set as if the show was already over. I don’t know if he was using it as a metaphor for the network maybe giving up on him and walking out on him, as the show ended midsentence while he was mumbling something about the “Freinds” finale. Don’t blame this on anyone but yourself. You got canceled because no one watched your show. No one watched cause there was no appeal to it. There’s no appeal because you can’t carry a show by yourself. You’re funny in 5 minute segments on a 90 minute show.